Nectar-flavoured Dental Floss/Fragrant Contour Maps/The Lighthouse Keeper’s Bad Acid Trip/Accusatory Tree/Edamame-filled Balloons

Accusatory Tree
How would it feel to be stuck in one place throughout your life and only be allowed to spectate and not participate? To be alone, grey, barren and lifeless in the cold. To only occupy space and appear dry and brittle. To sound and seem reluctant all the time. To experience a lack of control. To have your dignity stripped by lesser organisms. To be renounced by the very things you nurtured, to know that you are no longer favored as a habitat. How does it feel to lose all your leaves? How cold is the wind that brushes your scars? And snow. And blizzards.
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The next person covering a Stephin Merritt song on a ukulele is gonna have that ukulele shoved up their ass.

Character 1: Hey! So do we still need to stop at Sam’s Club?

Character 2: No, I think we are good. We got everything we needed and some more.

Character 1: I am excited about having a basil plant at our place. We should keep it inside, that way the place smells great, you feel me?

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How Chango became the seminal porn director that he is now

I had a meeting at 2 pm. It wasn’t about anything. Assemble people in a conference room, provide free food and they will find something to talk about. The meeting was dour to say the least- learned men and women gauging and criticizing their contemporaries. The stupidity of the educated cannot be underestimated. In the middle of it, I got bored. I fantasized about naked women- naked; some were in that room, some were not. I even imagined naked celebrities. Grace Kelly in a beach, Rooney Mara in a bathtub and Chanel Iman in the wilderness. I can’t help my imagination. After almost two hours, it was concluded that we needed to meet more often. Before leaving, I made myself one last cheese and cracker sandwich and chugged my drink. Continue reading