>He was the story
She was the context0
A neurasthenic, well dressed man1 living with a cat
Undresses in front of nobody
A confident liar with womanly hands and a filthy laugh
>Anachronistic but elegant2
>idealistic3. Eyes dark-glassy-blue. Nails unkempt
>compulsively obsessed with high entropy and real life tragedies4
Is never where he really is- withdrawn
“a bit off”, they add
>>>No, not off. Refracted.
>>>Bending a little while traversing mediums.
Trapped5, narcissistic existentialist
self-proclaimed old school6 substance connoisseur
incessantly self-conscious; hideously lurking in the fringes
>Engrossed by mundanely-adroit7 and psychically scarred8 bearded human-shaped minimalists who own-
>Multiple bicycles and shop for groceries9 at the farmers market
>Leftist, righteous, feminist future mothers10 who care but don’t remember
>>>But defining yourself as opposition is only pledging alliance.
Father to a daughter who is just as egalitarian11 as her mother – married for thirty years but still very lonely
>Stirring the air with a casual wave of the hand
>Then she smothered her comfortable lap
>Rubbing her shins with the heels of her other leg
but so beautiful12 when you cry and will not let me “be”13
>>>How come loving parents produce unlovable self abhorring nihilists?
>>>The truth is not always ideologically valid and vice versa
>>>The flaxen moon doesn’t feel too well; I can tell
>>>Axioms are abstract representations of tangible ideas
>>>Relationships evolve; characters pirouette, unfold
>>>A study of mathematics14 teaches you to be objective-
>>>-to trust entirely, regardless of the parameters
you left your records15 in my attic
and the singers sing16 about us for free
>>>I wasn’t done yet
>Shut the fuck up.
I know no foreplay. But I can fuck17–
your shit up
So shut the fuck up. It’s really getting annoying your blasé disposition18
All together: Oh, sorry, you don’t comprehend? This wasn’t a rhetoric endeavor. You wouldn’t want any of the hell we believe in x4
0The pretty damsel is a sight to see. Curvy and intelligent. Raises eyebrows e’erywhere she goes. So beautiful that most men are too scared to even approach her. Those who do are under the influence. She’s got needs, two and sometimes three homo/heterosexuals share the burden, but she only approaches those already involved. Pretty damsel has a natural proclivity for larceny.
Like the unattainable but beloved Holly from Breakfast at Tiffany’s; not many have held her fidelity but she gets enough. Making out with schoolboys in the dugout late at night. Then enticing workingmen at the bar. Free drinks and complimentary tickets to the show, given that she’s willing to show. And they only see what she shows.
You think you follow the picture but you idiot you don’t have a fucking clue.
You are intelligent but not smart. And although your parents find you reasonable, you are a weirdo, living with a creep. Shoulda’ fucked her brains out when you had the chancea kid, now you fuck your own brain with all this thinking. I knew it when she questioned our affinity. I sensed her concerting the fall. Still I let you fall. You wouldn’t have it any other way. You could’ve skulked out quietly, but chose, instead, to be kicked out of the front door. Oh what a scene that was.
I am on your side. But I don’t hold her responsible for anything. Although she’d like to be, the pretty damsel is an agent and not a cause. And I warned you not to tell her the truth but you did anyway. You poor boy, didn’t I tell you that you were only fueling the fire? Did I not tell you that she’d make a choke chain out of your secrets?
You loved her but I studied her. I did. Every night, after you fell asleep, I lied there, perusing her gestures. She doesn’t know I know; her gestures are mine. It’s my lies her crooners sing of. Apart from you but a part of your ghost, now and forever. She lives in your heart, but I bear the weight. I am not mad only a wee bit worried.
1Once bought piano to see how it worked. Never made any music.
2And original, so original. Might as well have it patented.
3Ideals are contrived from morals. And morals are subjective to one’s notion of rationality. And, rationality, of course, is very malleable. Anyhow, moral of the story is that it is easier for the intelligent to be idealistic.
4 no money bills niggas want to disconnect the electricity\nigggas donts pay\oh god phone bill not paid
\shambles\ nigga i need a break\i hate it\if i lived alone i woulndt be\if you help ppl then you get fucked\stop being so hopeful\you fucking emo\hope nd ppl fuck you in the end\it’s a dark place b\a dark dark place.
ok\my stomachs all fucked up\all i did today was shit\shit and more shit
rcn fucked me up\they dont have service where i live\now they want to charge me 200$ for early termination\im going down son\\no\i will not borrow anymore money\now im changing\i will try to quit drinking\and stop going to bars\which in turn might turn me insane\i need a good living condtion\now i live in a shitty hole\\\\no\so im running away\fuck them niggas\credit can me rcovered when im rich\so fuck credit for now\i just need to keep my self alive
Similar to but not quite exactly.
5 They raised you a socially well adjusted human being at a time when they hadn’t yet coined the term. When they visited you, they kept wishing with their mouths for the visit to be over so they could resume “normal” life. You liked watching Julie Christie on the telly. You’ve never left anyone behind. You’ve never left anyone. You do the things that the society has labeled and accepts as “loving”. The doing kills the creativity. You try to escape, try to really “run away” but you have lived and traveled enough to know that there is nowhere else to go. So you feel trapped. Boxed.
6The either-go-hardcore-or-don’t-go-at-all school
7As in well-barbered, fair faced, Fulbright scholars, magna cum laude graduates and the like
8ADDb, SPSc, Erectile Disfunction, Dyspareunia, Münchausen Syndrome, and Hypochondria. Also Johnny Sixpack and Joe pseudo-heavyweight-drinker-cum-athlete that need to score prime grade beef from the Hobbesian meat shop to keep their self-esteem intact. So in that sense, every other party is the same? It is, after a certain point they all are. Autonomous feminists and erudite chauvinists drinking French liqueur whilst negotiating for the Arab strap or barking for some form of satiation in the realm of needs. A lot of shit goes down BCDd
9Chics dig plants and farmers market.
10Art history and Sociology major. Avid follower of the more recent feminist theories, including but not limited to, third wave feminism, socialist feminism, black feminism et cetera.
11only conspicuously; at home shit is drastically ugly. As in the chronically shy father has little or no say in matters because the women of the householde are “self-sufficient”
12Like putting headphones and dancing on your own, like the beams of your halo, like loving you on a Monday, like that brutally honest moment right before you humiliate yourself, like leaves, like the songs of the silent, like puzzle pieces that don’t fit, like a warm dream, like milk, like believing.
13issues of being is known to cause quite a stir among existentialists
14exemplified by the theories of Messrs Guillaume de l’Hôpital, Gottfried Leibniz, Joseph Fourier, Leonhard Euler, Daniel Bernoulli, Carl Friedrich Gauss and the like.
15the resurgence of the hipsterf subculture in the 1990s focused primarily on fetishizing the original and one couldn’t get more original and conspicuous than records. So by the year 2008 AD more and more people were investing in records a.k.a purchasing the hip.
16 the sounds one hears when one’s head is bobbing on a neck weakened by strong opiates
17literally also. The subject’s said to have “technique” [sic]
aNo, not “ I love you” not yet. That line, “I have seen enough of the outside. I want to know you more. I want to know the insides.” always works with educated subjects, the most autonomous and righteous of whom are the clingiest. Their words should never be taken for their face value.
As for the uneducated ones, you just got to feel your way around it. Pretend like you’re listening. Act amused when a remotely-intellectually-arousing topic is mentioned. When subjects a little drunk, say something funny followed by a compliment. Repeat. If you haven’t made any progress by last call then the pills going in her drink. Wake up next morning. She’ll be glad. Pretend like you don’t remember. And don’t fucking eat breakfast together.
bAttention Deficit Disorder
cSmall Penis Syndrome a.k.a pencil dick, needle dick, Chinese dick?
dBehind close doors
eMommy owns her own company. Her breasts are big but shaggy and her buttocks are flaccid and look like cheese. She sometimes takes off work to pay the gardener for his hard work. Sister is an opera singer, who only involves herself with anything that gets her the slightest bit of attention. She fetishizes the hip. Infamously ate her putative best friend out in public while in college. They say that brother lost his plot but he never really had one. He, the other male in the household, suffers from the classic mother syndrome. Ergo, the apple of the mother’s eye’s function is to please the peeps esp. women in his borrowed life: facial features belong to daddy, ambitions to Mommy; has his wife by the throat, she has him by the glove; sissy is a hopeless bimbo
fActually started in the 1940s by bepop musicians. Common attributes include use of slangs, consumption of marijuana and other opiates, laid-back disposition, sarcastic humor and relaxed sexual codes