Pablo Picasso, the ass-hole.

For every Pablo Picasso there are thousands of nearly-made-its and millions of not-quite-good-enough-to-do-it-full-time types. We are fortunate to belong in an aristocracy. For if we weren’t, then we wouldn’t be allowed the luxury of this discussion. And this very aristocracy allows us certain liberties and freedoms.

We are artists because we can afford it. We studied at the best schools, read under the guidance of the most influential thinkers of our generation, experimented with psychedelics that won’t be {quotation marks hand gesture} discovered for another decade and interned at institutions that wouldn’t have considered our application even for the position of the custodian if not for our surnames.

Even without our knowing we were cultivating relationships with very powerful people of this society. And it is these relationships that will allow us to live freely. The social privileges that we are allowed will determine the trajectory of our careers. I am going to study English, linguistics and a pinch of philosophy and train to be a journalist even though I lack the tenacity and persistence required to be one. I, also, don’t believe in the existence of an objective truth. So I will most likely be a food journalist. I’ll get paid to do something that others usually have to buy. But I will do it on a shoestring budge-


Yes, we will inherit enough for money to never be a concern. But, I will do it on a shoestring budget so I will seem relate-able to the average Joe. I will dress like a grunge musician from the 90s, have unkempt hair and seldom shave my face and all that. No one wants to see a rich arsehole trotting about the globe criticizing everything that is not a lobster grill cheese and getting paid for it. See, our reputation greatly depends on people’s memory and impression of us. And you and I both know, how unreliable a person’s memory is, and how deceiving impressions are.


Well, if anyone disagrees with my choices, my position will allow me to dismiss them and their opinion as uncouth.

All of this is why the phrase “family first” is tattooed on mother’s underarm.


OK, that was said in jest but you get the point.


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